Overseas Mystery
by phanthom theif kid
Summary: The junior detective league washes up on the axis power's "deserted" island.
1. Chapter 1

**-overseas mystery-**

**Disclaimer- we (me and star1412) don't own Case Closed, Detective Conan, Hetalia, Incompetent Italy, or whatever else you want to call them.**

**Don't ask about the Japanese names. I don't know them well enough**.

It was a quiet night on the island. Germany and Japan were sitting tensely around the campfire, while Italy snoozed at their feet. The waves were lapping at the beach and everything was calm. Suddenly, Germany and Japan stood up and removed their coats.

"It seems zey are here."

"Hai, I agree."

"Say vah?"

Italy looked up and saw the allies standing on the cliff top as Germany and Japan drew their weapons.

"HEAR ME IN MY TOTAL HERO VOICE!" America shouted as the allied forces surveyed the area. "CHINA! I CHOOSE YOU!"

As usual, china jumped off the cliff and started attacking Germany as Italy waved his white flag frantically. China quickly defeated Germany and Japan with his frying pan and cooking ladle of doom.

"I GIVE UP! Please don't hurt me! I bruise like a summer peach! And I always thought your hair was really cool!" Italy pleaded as he waved his white flag crazily.

Just then, a small boat appeared upon the horizon. Everyone turned around to look at it, for they had nothing better to do (besides beat Italy senseless, but who would want to do that?). As the boat got closer, the countries noticed that the boat was being sailed by four kids.

'_Not again',_ Germany thought. _'Every time ve fight like zis, something alvays appears over zee ocean! I just vant to finish zis fight for once!'_

When the boat reached shore, one of the kids, the largest of the group, fell out of the boat and said, "Do any of you have any food? I'm starving!"

Italy immediately put away his white flag and pulled out his "survival kit".

"Oh, I have pasta, and pasta sauce, pizza, ingredients for pasta…"

Germany clamped his hand over Italy's mouth. "Shut up! Ve do not help zem! Zey could be spies for zee enemy using zee ruse of innocent children! Here, threaten them with zis gun."

"What? You're really going to give him a gun after the bloody grenade incident? And on top of that, we're your enemy, and we're all right here! Why would we need to spy on you?" shouted England.

Italy was already shakily pointing his gun at the smallest member of the group. He had on a bow tie, glasses, and sneakers along with a white shirt and black pants. "Don't try anyzing funny or ve'll shoot!" Germany said.

The boy apparently didn't like being held at gunpoint very much. As the other kids huddled behind him shaking, he saw a nearby coconut and bent down to adjust his shoe until it started flashing.

"Germany, I'm scared! His shoe iz flashing!"

"Quiet! I can see zat. Stay ver you are."

The boy kicked the coconut with all of his strength at Italy's gun hand resulting in Italy peeling off into the beach.

"Italy! Vat are you doing? Stop retreating!"

"I'm not retreating, I'm advancing in zee opposite direction!" Italy shouted as he ran even further away.

"I'll go get him." Germany said as he walked down the beach.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!" America cheered. "You realize you just got rid of two of the Axis powers for us, right?

"Wait, what? The Axis Powers?" The first boy asked.

"Yeah George," said the third boy. "They were in World War Two. The Axis Powers consisted of Germany, Japan and Italy, while the Allied Forces consisted of China, Russia, England, America, and France."

Just then, Germany returned dragging Italy behind him, with Italy begging for mercy.

"Oh great, they're back," moaned America.

The second boy put two and two together and realized that, somehow, they were talking to countries.

"Konichiwa. My name is Conan Edogawa, and this is Mitch-" he motioned to the third boy. "-George-" he motioned to the first boy, "–and Amy." He motioned to the girl.

"And together, we're the junior detective league!"Everyone except Conan shouted as the countries sweat dropped.

**I'm stopping there for now. Please review!**

**p.s. I use "sweat dropped" for lack of a better term.**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2!**

**Dc 4 ever: I actually thought to myself, "you know, someone's going to post an English/Japanese names chart if you say I don't know the Japanese ones." And I was right! **

**Kimea788: thanks! The handy dandy chart that dc 4 ever posted should help with the names.**

**On to the crazy!**

"You guys are all countries, aren't you?" Conan asked the group.

"Gee, vat gave eet avay? Zee idiot hamburger fanatic? Zee over-paranoid pasta lover? Zee quiet katana veilding Japanese man? Or eez et zee accents? Anyvay, I'm Germany. Zee idiot blathering about heroics is America. Zee other idiot blathering about surrender and pasta is Italy. Zee man vith zee dark hair und eyes is Japan. Zee creepy guy vith white hair und scarf is Russia. Zee guy vith zee huge eyebrows is England. Zee guy vith zee frying pan and ladle is China. Und finally, zee guy vith zee long golden hair is France."

"They don't seem to be going away on their own." England said to nobody in particular.

"Well, we would, but we're chasing a kidnapper and possible murderer." Conan replied.

At that, the countries (except Russia, who said "he doesn't sound that bad" and Italy, who fainted) unanimously decided to take them to the world meeting to see what they were talking about.

"We were chasing after the kidnapper. He had one of our friends, a girl named Anita, tied up in a motorboat. We somehow convinced someone to let us borrow their boat, but George decided that we would move way faster without the heavy outboard motor and threw it overboard. We had to row the rest of the way. Luckily, Amy had a pair of binoculars with her, and she saw where they docked."

They were at the world meeting. Conan was standing on the table at the insistence of Germany, telling how they got to the island. For some reason, England and Japan were both absent.

"That's when we landed in the middle of the fight. Germany was a little paranoid and told Italy to threaten us at gunpoint. I managed to get the gun away from him, which caused him to retreat. Then introductions were made and, after a while, we were brought here to tell you what I just told you. Any questions?"

Italy raised his hand. "Yes, Italy?"

"When does zee country feast night happen again?"

Germany face palmed and explained that Conan had meant about the story as America raised his hand.

"Yes, America?"

America then proceeded to say something that sounded like something about global warming and giant superheroes while his mouth was full of hamburgers.

"As Germany said earlier, about the story. Amer…what?"

Conan had just realized that there appeared to be a second America. However, he noticed a faint impression of a maple leaf tattoo on his forehead. Oh yeah, and he had a bear in his lap. "Who are you?"

"I'm Canada. What did the kidnapper look like?"

"I couldn't get a look at his face, but he was wearing a black trench coat, suit, hat, and shoes." Amy said. For some reason, she had insisted that she was the only one who got to look through the binoculars and refused to tell anyone what she had seen, besides the island.

At this, Conan realized that the kidnappers were the men in black, the organization that gave him poison that turned from a seventeen-year-old detective to a seven-year-old boy.

"Oh," Greece said. "I saw a man like that with a black bag running into my bobby-trapped maze of death."

"What? Why do you get a bobby-trapped maze of death?" Russia complained. "I've been trying to get one for years! You don't even have an evil aura!"

"Hey, blame my people's ancient mythology."

"Ok then, to the labyrinth!" Conan shouted as the junior detective league shakily agreed.

**Ooh, the labyrinth. By the way, I stole the labyrinth idea from Percy Jackson. Review and I may or may not reference them in the next chapter!**


	3. Chap3EXE

**Overseas Mystery**

**I'm back! My partner in writing this story was in Colorado for a week. And be warned… I have a new game coming in the mail, so you may not see me again for even longer. Now for the reviews and disclaimer!**

**Run ""**

**Reader: the reason they have German accents is because we don't know how to do an Italian accent (or many other ones) and that's how we thought he might sound on paper.**

**I do not own Percy Jackson, hetalia, or case closed.**

**Run ""**

As they were running towards the labyrinth, with Greece (and one or two cats) trailing behind, a young boy they didn't recognize rode up to them on a goat. He was wearing a sailor uniform and spoke with a slight English accent, Conan noted.

"Hey! Wait up!" the boy shouted as he and his goat caught up to them.

"OOH! Can I pet the goat? Can I? Please?" Amy squealed.

"Sure. Anyway, I'm Sealand. The smallest country in the world! Only nobody says I'm a country, even though I have a whopping population of five and a goat. What are you doing?"

"We're looking for some guy in a black coat, hat, suit, and sunglasses."

"Ooh! That sounds fun! I'll join you!"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Greece said. "You're just a kid."

"Then what are they?"

"Good point. However, it is a maze of death…"

"What? DEATH? I don't wanna!" George bawled at the top of his lungs.

"It doesn't sound that bad!" Amy said shakily. "And besides, we need to rescue Anita, remember? And Greece probably knows his way through, right?"

"Yes," said Greece, "but the labyrinth is kind of unpredictable. We'll need supplies."

"Way ahead of you! I got them from Italy!" Sealand gleefully said.

"Oh no," Greece thought.

"We have pasta, pizza, pasta sauce, kindling, napkins, and water! Along with various pots and utensils for boiling said pasta."

"All right! I've never had Italian food before!" shouted George. "To the labyrinth!"

Three hours later, they were hopelessly lost. They had wandered around through a stadium where a mythical hero might have fought a "son of Poseidon and Gaea" as Greece called it, past a tray of milk bottles, through an ancient prison, what appeared to be a cross between a blacksmith's and a garage, and a random crystal cavern. Greece, of course, wouldn't admit it, but from the looks on his face, they could tell that he had no idea where they were.

"All we have to do is follow the left wall." Conan said as he turned around. However, the instant he said that, all the left walls vanished.

_Ha ha ha._ The labyrinth thought. _The old left wall trick doesn't work here._

"Oh, look! The walls are gone! Now we can walk straight through to the men in black!" Conan announced. At that, the walls reappeared.

_Crud, _the labyrinth thought._ They have me in check. At least now they can't see the traps. Oh wait. I forgot to turn them on. I'll do that right now. _

There was a grinding sound as the traps turned on.

"What was that? It's scary!" Amy whimpered.

"It's probably nothing, Amy." Mitch commented.

"Actually, it means that the traps are turning on." Said Greece. "Just follow me and-"

He was cut off when a different sound started. It was getting closer and closer. Everyone was cowering in fear, expecting to be eaten alive, until a giant cat with toast for a body wearing a Rasta hat with rainbows coming from its butt flew into the room.

"!"

"OH MY GOSH! IT'S NYAN CAT! MUST FOLLOW!" Greece shouted as he ran off after Nyan.

"What just happened?" Sealand said.

**Run ""**

**I don't own Nyan cat. Please review! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok! I managed to tear myself away from my new games. I would've updated sooner if not for an unexpected second game, but whatever. Review and disclaimer time!**

**Kimea78: yes, but the labyrinth didn't realize that Conan turned around, ensuring that all walls vanished. Sealand said he had a goat in his intro episode.**

**I don't own case closed, llama adventure (great game!), or hetalia. Or Percy Jackson**

**On to the story!**

"I have no idea what that thing was," Mitch said. "But Greece seemed to like it."

"Now, if only I could figure out how to bribe him with it to admit I'm a country…"

"What?"

"Never mind."

The group travelled deeper into the maze. Luckily, Conan had noted where the men in black (who Conan suspected to be in the black organization), were hiding, so they were heading in that general direction. Suddenly a small raccoon appeared in front of them, looking adorable.

"It's so cute!" Amy squealed.

She ran off in a fruitless attempt to catch it and take it home as a pet.

"No! Amy, raccoons can be very dangerous." Mitch shouted as he ran after her.

"_Oh brother," _Conan thought as he followed them. _"They're chasing after a random raccoon (who's probably very freaked out right now) while we're in a maze of death chasing a psychopathic killer. How long has my life been this crazy?"_

After a few minutes, the junior detective league stopped suddenly. Conan, who was attempting to memorize routes, absent-mindedly slammed into George absentmindedly.

"It's gone." Amy said. They were in a closed room with no obvious escape, even for raccoons. However, said mammal was nowhere in sight. In fact, it had just used an emergency exit chute that was there for no apparent reason.

"Remember what Greece said about traps?" Conan said as the door closed behind them.

"Yeah, scary grindy noise means traps are a-" George was cut off by the grinding noise that George just described. Suddenly, sleeping gas filled the chamber. One by one, the kids were knocked unconscious, despite their efforts to stop breathing (George actually managed to hold his breath long enough so that he fainted anyway.)

The group woke up tied to some chairs in an abandoned warehouse. They were tied up next to Anita, who was still unconscious (one less person on the lost list!). They were surrounded by various bottles of alcohol.

"Well, this isn't something that happens every day." Sealand said. "Normally, maze of death traps are… deadly. Never seen one that kidnaps you."

"Are you guys going to talk about maze traps all day, or plan an escape?" Anita had woken up from her drug-induced slumber. "If we stick around here, we might not make it out alive. I've already noted that the rope they use is apparently made from an organic materiel."

"OK!" Sealand said. He gave a low whistle. A few minutes later, a goat walked into the warehouse and proceeded to eat the ropes. After it was finished, it walked through the door it made upon entry.

"Okay, I'm not sure what that goat's doing in who-knows-where, but I'm not complaining!" Mitch exclaimed.

The junior detective league started talking about what to do next (after filling in Anita, of course). Conan, Sealand, and Anita insisted that they use the entrance that the guys that tied them up made, which led to certain doom. Mitch and George wanted to use the entrance that led to a Green Pasture of Freedom. Amy, of course, sided with Conan.

"Besides," Conan noted. "There are some henchmen coming over to investigate the spontaneous goat and doorway appearance."

At that, they all went through the door back into the maze (however, Conan noticed that Anita grabbed a bottle off the wall before entering).

Back in the maze, they started following the left wall. After stumbling through a few well furbished rooms with various keys, several traps, kites, lunchboxes, clocks, hammers, and magma, they found a few drops of water on a stone floor. With nothing better to do, they followed the trail. Eventually, they reached a dead end.

"It's a dead end." George said. "Let's go back."

"Wait! There's something over there!" Amy exclaimed.

Lying unconscious in the corner was a young boy, no older than Conan. He had dark hair cut into an unmistakable style. It was the style of-

"JAPAN?" Sealand shouted.

**Too tired for author's note. Writer's block imminent. Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Can't come up with much of an intro. Beware… shortish chapter.**

**REVIEWS!**

**Helizabeta: all will be revealed (or at least some…) in the next chapter. Sorry it seems so rushed. I'll try to fix it.**

**Kimea78: Conan was freaked out and forgot the part about the labyrinth changing.**

* * *

><p>Meanwhile…<p>

The phone rang at the Moore detective agency.

"Hello, you've reached the Moore detective agency." Richard Moore said. "It was the butler. Have a nice day."

"Dad! You can't treat a client like that!" Rachel said as she grabbed the phone from her dad. "Sorry about that, he's not feeling well."

"He's drunk, isn't he?" said Serena Sebastian, who had been the one on the phone

"Oh yeah. Big time. 17 cans. Anyway, can I help you?"

"Do you want to go to the beach today?"

"I would, but Conan and his friends went to the library to do research for a project yesterday and they haven't come back. We've been looking everywhere."

"Did you check the beach yet?"

"No, bu-"

"In that case, I'll join you! I'll be there in an hour. Bye!"

Rachel sighed and hung up the phone. Looked like she was going to the beach anyway. Before exiting, she made sure to put her anti-beer padlock on the refrigerator. If her dad was going to drink more, he'd have to learn lock picking.

"Dad thinks he's too awesome to need the police when someone goes missing." Rachel said to Serena. They had reached the beach and had started looking for the children. "That's why we're the only ones that know. Or so he thinks. There are undercover policemen all over. CONAN!"

"What if he's been taken out of the country? Your dad can't expect you to swim to China!"

"Well, with how he's been drinking lately, I wouldn't be surprised. Excuse me sir," she said to the boat rental man. "Have you seen a seven-year-old boy with large glasses and a bow tie? He was with two other boys and a girl. One of the boys was rather large. "

"Oh yeah. I let a group like that borrow a boat. They said that one of their friends had been kidnapped and they needed to rescue her. So far, they didn't return it."

"WHAT? YOU LET FOUR ELEMENTRY SCHOOL KIDS BORROW A BOAT AND USE IT UNSUPERVISED?" Rachel shouted.

"I- uh- wha- pleasedon'thurtme!" the man cried.

"I won't if you tell us where they went and let use a boat!"

"Okaysuretheywentsouth!" the terrified man cried as he shakily handed Rachel the keys to a motorboat.

"Come on Serena!"Rachel shouted as she grabbed Serena and started pulling her towards the boat.

"Shouldn't we call our parents first?" Serena said.

"NO! We're going to find Conan, and we are going to find him NOW!"

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><p><strong>I know, it's short. Please review, and if you have any ideas, please pm me.<strong>


	6. escape!

**-Overseas mystery-**

**Most of you are probably wondering what's taking me so long to update, so I'll tell you. I started writing another fanfic so crazy that you had to either come up with it while dreaming or high on insomnia, along with another fic that I need help with. Also, school started a few weeks ago. In addition-**

**A WILD APPEARED! GO! LUCARIO! LUCARIO USED AURA SPHERE! It's not very affective… A WILD R. BLOCK USED WRITER'S BLOCK! IT'S SUPER AFFECTIVE! YOU AND YOUR LUCARIO FAINTED! **

**I'M SORRY!**

**Oh yeah, and I'm sorry this seems so rushed.**

**Anyway, now for review and disclaimers:**

**Kimea78: thanks! That man is from, I don't know, the Phineas and Ferb universe?**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**On to the labyrinth!**

"Conan! Japan's been APTX'D!" Anita hastily whispered to Conan.

"AUGH! My white blood cells!" Japan said in his sleep.

"WhatareyoutalkingaboutSealand? Thisisn'tJapan! This must be his third cousin's… Nephew! Yeah!" said conan quickly.

"Oh yeah, that was convincing. This clearly isn't Japan. He's totally an obscure relative." Anita said to herself.

"Anyway, whatever he's doing here or whoever he is, we should get him out of here!" Amy said.

"How, Amy? You saw what happened when we tried following the left walls. The maze can change itself just to confuse us!" Mitch said.

Just as he said this, the entrance to the room they were in collapsed.

"See?"

The room then started to fill with water.

"Great, now how are we going to get out?" said George.

"Like this!" Sealand said. Just then, his fist started growing. When it stopped, it was the size of a melon. It then flew _off his arm_ and into a wall, clearing a way of escape.

"Come on!" Sealand said as his fist grew back. He jumped through the hole with the rest of the JDL following him.

"Ugh, my bloody head… why won't the light shut up?"Said England. Odd… the last time he used that phrase was that time when he had drinks with America. He hadn't been drinking last night. All that he remembered was those kids…

"Where am I?"

As he opened his eyes, he realized that he still couldn't see. As he attempted to climb out of bed, he realized two very important things.

1. He wasn't in bed.

2. He was, however, tied up in a chair in a dark, round room and the only reason he could see by now was that his eyes had adjusted to the light of torches.

_Wait… torches? _England thought_. Nobody uses torches anymore .the last place I saw them was…GREECE! I wasn't really paying much attention, but it was lit by torchlight. And it had several passageways that Greece told me not to go down .But how did I get here?_

Later, Sealand was looking for Conan in Japan's house. The JDL had taken Japan there because Conan thought it would be good for Japan's obscure relative to wake up in familiar surroundings. As he walked by a room, he heard Conan and Anita's voices. He couldn't make out what they were talking about, but he did hear the words 'Japan', 'shrunken' and 'APTX'.

"I KNEW IT!" Sealand said as he dramatically ran into the room. "I KNEW that was Japan, and not one of his obscure relatives!"

"Of course not! This is… umm…. The… CONAN! SHOOT HIM WITH YOUR WATCH!" Anita frantically shouted. Sealand felt a small prick on his neck before fading into unconsciousness.

"Cool watch." Anita and Conan spun around to see that Japan had woken up.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Oh, I woke up right before Sealand burst in. what's he doing in here anyway?"

**And another chapter done. Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**-ph33r mah n33d ph0r b33r-**

**I'm back! For those of you wondering what took me so long to update, I was working on that other fic (it's so easy to write with!). For those of you just sticking to this fic just to see if it could possibly get any worse (I'm sure there's at least one person), stop reading. It won't.**

**Another Rachel and Moore chapter**

**REVIEW!**

**Kairi's-twin: thanks! Keep reading!**

**DISCLAIMER!**

**I don't own case closed or hetalia. Or megatokyo!**

**FIC!**

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Moore woke up.<p>

"_Hey, my hangover's gone. I need a beer."_

Moore walked up to the refrigerator, only to discover the anti-beer padlock, with emergency keyhole.

"_She locked the fridge? How? Surely she must have left the key around here somewhere…"_

After a full search of the apartment, there were no keys found. Anywhere.

"_they even took my car keys…"_

After a while, Moore simply decided to get a beer from the store. When he finally got there, he got his favorite brand from the alcohol section, brought it to the checkout, and was met by a sleepy teenager.

"oh, hi. How can I help you?"

"Hi, I'd like to buy this beer."

"Ok, just let me see your ID or driver's license or… something."

Moore handed the guy his wallet.

"Oh! You're Richard Moore?"

"Why, yes!" Moore said proudly.

"sorry, but your daughter came in earlier. Got us to ban you from buying anything alcoholic. Is there anything else I can help you w-"

Before the guy could finish, Moore had angrily left the store. On the way out, he saw the row of vending machines.

"Ah-HA! She can't stop me from buying from a vending machine!" said Moore triumphantly as he bought his beer.

"Oh, yes she can!" the monitor flashed. "Fingerprint scanned. DNA analyzed. Richard Moore. No beer for you!"

"Aw, COME ON!" Moore shouted at us.

"Sorry, but we need a way to get you to the island." A large voice boomed from the heavens.

"Island? Since when is there an island in this fic? And, more importantly, is there beer there?"

"Tons. But you didn't hear that, okay? Now go to the pub. Pass GO. Collect 200 yen. We need to move this fic along." The voice boomed.

* * *

><p>"You SURE Conan went this way?" Serena said for the tenth time.<p>

"Of course. I got inside info from the authors." Rachel replied.

"Ok, if you're s- wait, authors?"

"Wait, you didn't hear that."Rachel said quickly. She looked up at the sky, as if she was expecting a bolt of lightning to improbably come down and strike her.

"okay, if you say so." Serena said in a we'll-talk-later voice.

* * *

><p>When Moore got to the pub. He was once again denied access to his alcohol.<p>

"let me guess, my daughter, right?"

"yep," said the bouncer as he picked Moore up and threw him through the (thankfully) open doors to the library.

As Moore got up, he thought of something.

"yeah! I can learn lock picking!"

* * *

><p>"it seems zey are here."<p>

In the awkward silence that followed, Germany realized that Japan was still missing. So he poked Italy with a stick.

"say Vah?"

"_Stupid authors! I don't know why zey made us do zis again. We already did it earlier in zis fic. It's not going to work without Japan, and we'll just get interrupted by something over the ocean again! If I ever get my hands on them, I'll…"_

Germany's thoughts were interrupted by a large frying pan connecting with his skull.

"_Ow…"_

Italy started freaking out as normal.

'_Three, two, one…'_

And something appeared over the ocean right on cue. It was a motor boat again, but this one still had it's motor. Instead of four small children, it carried two teenage girls. When they landed Italy immediately started to try to flirt with them, along with France. This earned France a hard karate kick to the head, which sent him flying across the beach. Italy started freaking out again. However, Germany and England immediately decided they liked the dark haired girl.

* * *

><p>"Oh, sure! Lock picking requires a key that you are willing to painstakingly file into the perfect shape of the keyhole!"<p>

He stormed into the apartment and slammed the door. He was about to go and mope around on the couch for a couple hours, but he noticed a note on the refrigerator.

_Dear dad,_

_Hope you enjoyed your wild goose chase! Me and Serena are at the beach looking for Conan. Bye!_

"ah, the beach. So that's how I get to Beer Island." Moore said. He immediately ran out of the apartment shouting "ph33r my n33d f0r b33r!"

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>


	8. HUZZAH!

**Overseas mystery chapter 8**

**Merry Christmas!**

**I've been suffering from writer's block, so this chapter may be short. Also, I figured I should update before Finla… er, Santa comes, as I will be completely engrossed in my presents/playing cave story/reading Inheritance. **

**On with the story! **

**Balrog: HUZZAH! * falls from sky* you forgot to do the disclaimer.**

**Oh, yeah. I own nothing.**

* * *

><p>After Balrog came down from the author's note to distract Sealand, Conan and Anita started explaining some of what had happened to Japan. Japan's jaw hit the floor. Just then Sealand came running back in the room.<p>

"You managed to make Japan react to something!" Sealand yelled. "Awesome!"

"We've told you already," Conan said. "This isn't Japan, he's Japan's third cousin's nephew! And how did you escape the television-toaster robot?"

"He tripped."

* * *

><p>From somewhere, a transmission.<p>

"Balrog really fainted when he tripped? IGOR! I need a running gag to distract Sealand!"

What could only be described as a killer bunny ran up, grabbed Sealand, and ran off to further the Plot.

"Okay," Conan said. "That was weird."

"Conan?" Amy asked from the doorway. "Can we come in yet?"

"Excuse me for a second." Anita said.

She went out into the hall

"I thought I asked you to stay in the living room."

"Yeah, but there's nothing to do!" George yelled.

"I thought I heard Japan's third cousin's… uncles… Mom's… You know what? Just forget it. Obscure relative, mention something about some Masked Yaiba DVDs hidden in the pantry.

"There's twenty seven pantries!" Sealand said, having ran back into the room.

"Yeah. We counted!" Mitch added.

"What happened to the killer bunny?" Anita enquired.

"He fell into a plothole."

"HUZZAH!"

Balrog fell from the sky again to distract Sealand.

"You again? You're not just going to trip and faint again, will you?" Sealand shouted, running from the room.

After several seconds of funny looks, Anita encouraged Mitch, Amy, and George to start looking and walked back in the room.

"But there aren't any-"

"SSHHHH!" Anita interrupted Japan. "As long as they're distracted, we can figure out what to do."

"Why don't we move into one of the secret rooms?" Japan asked. "It will be harder for them to find us there."

"Okay, that sounds good." Conan said.

* * *

><p>"Blah blah blah, it seems they're here, blah blah, awkward silence, blah, say vaaah?" Germany said.<p>

"Wait, that was my line!" Italy complained.

They we re all standing on the island doing they're generic fight scene because the author told them to. He also said that it would be the last time they would have to do it in this fic.

"Hear me yell!" America shouted unconvincingly. "China, try to go kick their butts more or something."

You all know how this plays out so we'll just cut to the chase.

"Ahh whatever, I give up," Italy said just as unconvincingly as America.

Just then, as usual, a tiny, rapidly growing speck appeared on the horizon. It appeared to be a man in an inflatable raft, with no visible oars. He washed up on the beach within a few seconds, and they saw that he had been using a _clipboard _to control the raft.

"Who are you? Where's Rachel? And is this the right island?"

"yep." Confirmed a voice from the heavens.

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><p><strong>Since Finland is coming there will be no new updates for awhile. <strong>

**Please Review!**


	9. Things get weirder

**Overseas Mystery**

**Hey guys! Guess what! I'm not dead! And no, this isn't an April fools joke; that was four days ago!**

**Why haven't I been updating? Well…*thinks of the quadratic formula and Tentalus while shuddering***

**Disclaimer: I may not possibly more or less not quite claim ownership of anything mentioned in this chapter. Possibly.**

**Reviews: Angel61991: I'm sorry! Blame the SACRED GROUNDS!**

**Silverstonedragon: Yeah, that's what happens when you mix cave story with Percy Jackson, Hetalia, and Case Closed. And Nyan Cat.**

**Anyway… LOOK OVER THERE! *posts the chapter while you aren't looking and runs away* YOINK!**

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><p>After what seemed like about five months of waiting, Japan finally confirmed that there was nobody within earshot. They were safely hidden under an absolutley massive pile of books that was possibly taller then the Washington Monument.<p>

"Well, what did you two do after you were regressed?" Japan asked Conan.

"Anita moved in with a slightly insane scientist and I moved in with my girlfriend, but…"

"I don't have a girlfriend, and there is a distinct lack of insane scientists." Japan said.

"Then why don't you just hang around with us for now?" Conan said. "We can say that you had to stay with Japan for awhile, but he had to leave on a business trip, but you had to stay here."

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><p>"So nobody's seen England, Greece or Japan for quite some time now." Germany said.<p>

He had just finished explaining pretty much all of world history to Serena and Rachel. Richard Moore was supposed to be listening too, but … well… he found Russia's stash of Vodka. He was now trying to do something absolutely hilarious with a vacuum cleaner, a swimming noodle and some seemingly magnetic playing cards. I can't really explain it because if I did, you would be rolling around on the floor laughing so hard that you would destroy your computer. Everyone was trying very hard to ignore him to avoid doing just that. Some had more success than others, with Germany keeping a perfect poker face, and Italy failing miserably. Okay, back to the plot.

"So have any of you seen Conan?" Rachel asked, gently shaking Serena awake.

"Well, last I saw him, he and his friends were running toward Greece's booby trapped maze of death with Greece and Sealand, and Italy's 'survival kit'."

"Oh, that must be where my white flags went…" Italy said through bouts of laughter.

"That was also the last time we saw Sealand." Germany said, trying his best to ignore the Italian.

This prompted Rachel to grab Serena's wrist, one of Italy's survival kits, and run toward the nearest entrance, which she only knew about because Russia had been raving about it for the past fifteen minutes while stifling laughter. This is an extremely difficult trick, and few have managed to master it the way Russia had.

The next minute (and much to Italy's disappointment) Richard Moore put down the vacuum cleaner, somehow instantly becoming sober. He ran after Rachel yelling, "Rachel get back here! You can't just go charging into a maze of death!"

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><p>After deciding what Japan's nonexistent Obscure Relative's name should be, Anita, Conan, and Japan walked into one of the living rooms to find the other kids sitting on the couch. They seemed to be about halfway through the third season of Masked Yaiba.<p>

"Japan," Whispered Anita, "I thought you said you didn't have any Masked Yaiba DVDs."

"I don't…" Japan whispered back. To the kids, he said, "Ah, I see you found the Masked Yaiba DVDs."

"Yep!" Amy said back, eyes glued to the screen.

"Where did you find them?"

"Closet fourteen." Mitch responded.

"Where in closet fourteen?"

"In a secret panel that led to an alternate dimension." George said.

Japan backed away slowly, looking troubled.

"You've been watching too many cartoons haven't you?" Conan asked.

"No, really." Mitch said. "We brought this back to prove it!"

He handed Conan a small metal object. Strange music started playing, and a box appeared in thin air with a close-up of the item with another box below it saying that Conan got a "-Mushroom Badge-". Everyone was silent.

"It's a rare Japanese phenomenon…" Japan explained to Conan and Anita.

Sealand ran past, and picked up the mushroom badge. He stopped to look it over.

"What happened to the mutant toaster?" Anita asked.

"Rocket punch to the face. He was decidedly harder to get rid of this time…" Sealand replied, as said mutant toaster appeared behind him.

There was also a weird blue haired figure floating nearby.

"Balrog, the master told me to turn you into Balfrog again. To fight this Seal… and" The blue figure said, reading from a piece of paper.

She fired a bubble at Sealand, and he floated off. Presumably to fight this… Balfrog. The figure and Balrog vanished again, and everyone who was still in the room decided that they should move to a different one, because this one was too weird. There was no way they could finish their discussion here.

As they were leaving, a human sized mushroom ran up, took the mushroom badge, and disappeared.

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><p><strong>Done. Please R&amp;R!<strong>


	10. Tenth Chapterversry

**Overseas Mystery Chapter 10**

**10 chapters! To celebrate, I will answer all reviews, say I own nothing, and then get the chapter rolling! **

**Silverstonedragon: Thanks!**

**Syrus07: We have a fanbase? Cool! However, no matter how big it may be, if we told the fanbase the Vast Joke, it would be more catastrophic than Lord English appearing riding on a meteor made of nukes with the Red Miles coming in from above.**

**Star1412 (not a review response): For those of you who have never read Homestuck and likely never will, it would be bad.**

**I own nothing referred to in this fic.**

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><p>As Rachel and Serena neared the Labyrinth entrance, a guy with a cat on his head appeared. He was riding a flying cat that seemed… did it really have a pop tart for a body? It also sang the word Nyan repeatedly somehow making up a catchy tune. Oh and it trailed rainbows. Rachel briefly wondered if the Author was as sane as he seemed.<p>

"The ones you're looking for are no longer in the Labyrinth!" the man shouted as he flew past.

"Then where'd they go?" Serena asked, seemingly completely unconcerned with the spectacle.

But by then the man was too far away to hear. He seemed to be lost in some kind of feliney bliss. Therefore the only thing to do was to search the island on foot. That was fastest if they split up, so Rachel and Serena went their separate ways.

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><p>Richard Moore arrived at the Labyrinth soon after the girls left. However, seeing no sign of them, and completely missing their footprints going in opposite directions, he went into the labyrinth. In fact the only thing he saw was the 'survival kit' that Rachel had dropped at the entrance out of surprise at seeing a flying cat.<p>

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><p>At this point, England was not sure how long he had been tied to that chair, and pretty sure that everyone had forgotten about him. Including the Authors. He hadn't even seen Flying Mint Bunny for quite some time. However, occasionally a flying pop tart cat flew by. England had named him Nyan cat, but after awhile, even he had stopped coming by. Then he had started hearing something. Explosions? At first there had been few, and sounded far away. But they had been getting progressively closer. After awhile, he had surmised that someone had to be causing them. He was going to be rescued soon. He sincerely hoped it wasn't the author though. That guy was a jerk.<p>

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><p>After a fierce battle and several cases of rocket fist, Sealand finally managed to defeat that 'Balfrog' guy. However, he was getting tired of not knowing what the author was trying to keep him away from. So he decided to just ask.<p>

"Hey, Author guy!" Sealand yelled "Why do you keep sending these guys after me?

"To distract you of course!" a voice said. "I can't have you know what's going on just yet! Now, time for the next one!"

One flash of light later, Sealand found himself staring down the barrel of a machine gun wielded by a deadly-looking blonde-haired robot.

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><p>Later, the JDL brought Japan to the World Council to explain to the other countries. Or that's what they were trying to do when they ran into America.<p>

"DUDE! Who's that?" America shouted. "Looks kinda like Japan. What's his name?"

"Ummmmmmmm…" Conan stuttered. Just as America was about to poke him to see if he was OK, Anita piped up.

"He's Japan's obscure relative. He's shy, so he hasn't told us his name. All we know is that Japan's on a business trip or something."

"Oh. Ok. I'm gonna call him Asian Relative. AR for short! BYE!" America shouted as he ran off.

After he left, Conan, Anita, and Japan discussed what to call him. Frankly, none of them had any idea. Just then, the Japanese phenomenon kicked in again, bringing up a naming screen over Japan's head.

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><p><strong>Ooh! What are they going to call him? This is exciting! Okay, seriously though… what are they going to call him? We really have no idea. Just imagine there's an RPGesque naming box hanging over his hea… Oh yeah. There is.<strong>

**Yeah, so the reason this chapter is so late is because we stopped writing midway through and… kinda forgot about it. From now on we plan to update all stories except one at least once a month, or at least make an attempt to. We might not get very far without a name though, and we'd be happy to take suggestions.**

**We hope you like the chapter! Please review and thanks for reading!**


	11. Ridiculous and not Funny

**Quoth me, ten months in the past:**

**" **From now on we plan to update all stories except one at least once a month, or at least make an attempt to."****

**Yeah, that didn't turn out well. Anyway, long story short: This isn't dead. Ultimate showdown probably is, due to the fact that nobody is capable of determining what's going on anymore. Sword plus pole is currently on hiatus until I update. Consider it a zombie or something with a random chance of being cured.**

**Short story long: We convinced ourselves we couldn't update without a name, eventually forgot, and then somebody reviewed asking for an update, reminding us that this exists.**

**Well, here's an update now.**

**By the power of necromancery, I bring you the eleventh chapter.**

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><p>Sealand had been jumping through the author's hoops for quite some time now. Slaying monsters, solving puzzles, helping out locals... But he had never expected this.<p>

He was standing in a small ditch by a small wooden sign. Fire, brimstone, and sharp pointy objects were everywhere. he was wondering how he had gotten here until he realized that this story doesn't really have anything to do with any Indie game of any sort; the Author may have realized that and sent him here early. Sealand had kind of wished he hadn't though, considering the sign was currently cheerfully welcoming him to hell.

At least the music was cool.

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><p>After mulling it over for quite some time, nobody had managed to come up with anything to call young Japan. Well, there wasn't anything better than What America had suggested, anyway. As nobody wanted to spend the rest of the story calling Japan something like Pericles Van Mudgett, they just decided to go with America's suggestion. Even though it was probably some form of inside joke. (This suspicion was strengthened when, in the middle of the council's meeting, America ran up to AR, wrapped him in caution tape, and put a powdered wig made of bullets on his head. It was entirely confirmed once Sealand got into Homestuck. But that's another story.)<p>

"-And that's how I became a wizard and saved the world from a group of Pasta Elemental-worshiping cultists by harnessing the powers of pasta!" Italy said, snapping Conan out of his thoughts.

Oh, that's not entirely right. What really snapped Conan out of his thoughts was the fireworks Italy had shot out of a giant cannon that was apparently made out of a giant Cannelloni. everyone stood in shock for a few seconds, realizing that for Italy to save the world, he would have had to *gasp* kill something, which implied that there was something weak enough for him to kill.

"Um... Thank you Italy," Germany said, "for saving the world, I guess."

"No problem." Italy said before munching on some pasta he had apparently conjured with his new wizarding powers.

"Anyvay," Germany said, "before we ajorurn this meeting, I'm sure several of you have been wondering about Japan, Greece, and England. Unfortunatley England remains missing."

This was met with cheers from France.

"However, Greece was recently sighted riding on..."

Germany double-checked his notes to make sure that he was reading that right.

"... a giant cat with a pop-tart for a body."

This was met with giggling from America.

"Japan, however, is on secret business somewhere, leaving his obscure relative in his place."

At this point, Germany motioned towards AR.

"Here he is. Normally, he isn't covered in caution tape or wearing this ridiculous wig," Germany shot a glare towards America, who was laughing so hard he had fallen out of his chair ", But in any case, he is to be referred to as AR, as nobody can get him to say his name. No, you can't ask what that stands for." Germany said, shooting another death glare towards America, who was laughing only slightly less than Italy had when he had seen the Vast Joke.

"Anyvay, MEETING ADJOURNED!" Germany shouted.

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><p>It had taken al of five minutes for the labyrinth to build up an intense hatred towards this Old Drunk Guy. At first, the ODG had seemed like a pathetic little worm or other easily crushed creature. However, as soon as he realized that the maze didn't follow typical maze rules such as staying in one place, following the laws of time and physics, and not trying to kill him, he had pulled out some magnetic playing cards and a foam swimming noodle and had started breaking down walls. Somehow.<p>

At that point the labyrinth had gotten mildly annoyed and began dropping monsters on the ODG, only for him to start using the cards as SHIRUKEN, for crying out loud. He even used that swimming noodle to trigger traps early and watch with mild interest as the portion of the maze caved in, burst into flames, dropped out from under the area in front of him, or exploded. All the while, he seemed to be looking for someone ...

"All right, you!" The ODG shouted at the roof. "I don't know who, what, or where you are, but you and I both know that even though it's out of character for me to be this capable, I could go on all night, day, week, month, and year if I have to. During that time, you will probably have built several more traps, purchased and/or bred several more monsters, and changed the layout so many times that I've progressively migrated to Fiji. So I offer you an ultimatum: you sic everything you've got on me, and I do the same to you. If you kill me, you can get back to doing whatever it is you do. If I take everything you've got out, you show me where the person I'm looking for is. Deal?"

In response, more trap doors than I will bother to come up with a number for opened, depositing an equal number of horrific monsters, eldritch abominations, and crimes against life in the same room.

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><p><strong>Well, it was more than a day, but here you go.<strong>

**Reviews are appreciated and remind us to update, so toss some our way**


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